Definition of friendship

Friendship is...
not about sharing jokes and laughing like mad dogs together,
not about treating meals and drinks,
not about everything you did with your friend during the happy days.

Frienship is...
about being there on times your friend needs you,
about lending a ear to hear your friend out,
about everything you do for your friend during the dark hours.

I have not been there at the needy times,
I have not lend my ears,
I have not done my best,
I am not a good friend.

I have failed badly as a friend

This useless blogger can only hide behind the virtual world of blogging to atone his mistakes...

I have heard countless advices but none as gut wrenching as the one said by a person. The words though simple and short, bore right through my heart and the fires of guilt engulfed my conscience...simply put I have been selfish. Not wanting to be affected with sadness and the sense of helplessness, I choose the easier way out. I ran away from reality...but reality caught up with me eventually.

Reflecting on my actions, it was total selfishness and bordering being ignorant, thinking that everything will turn out just fine. This is me, always writing and talking but no solid action...how typical me! I have failed badly as a friend. I have dissapointed a friend, a brother but perhaps not so anymore now judging by what I have done wrong. Do I deserve a second chance? I have always doubted myself but now without a doubt I want a second chance. I am flawed but I have done enough as a friend all this while to be deserving of at least another chance of redemption. This is a time to right all wrongs.

To err is human, but to err continuosly after such gut wrenching advice is inhumane. I thank the person for reminding me how much more I've got to learn as a human. Nuff' said, ACTION!

Are mere words enough?

What are you gonna say when you are asked to comment about a friend you regard highly and respect deeply? Are mere words enough to cover the extreme guilt you feel when you can't even help him during his darkest moment. Words, no matter how they are filled with grandeur and poetry can't cover the fact that I didn't do my best to help him during his hardship. What else can I do apart from writing a comment for him and sounding upbeat during conversations with him? To put it simply in mere insignificant words it will go on like this...Jonathan is my pillar of strength during hardship and a figure to look up to on sunny days. An elder brother to have where you can joke, tease, share secrets and feel comfortable with his presence. Thanks for the memories...

明年今日

明年是个未知数，但我可能毕业了。 但今日我仍然有那熟悉的感觉...寂寞感。 明年今日，我希望不再有这种感觉了，这苦涩的感觉，快离我远去吧！ 这个寂寞感不是说找到另一半就解决了，这不是单身的寂寞而是针对这世上的一切。 这不是自杀的先兆，而是对人性的失望。 人心计太深，单纯的人几乎绝种了...韩国卢武铉的自杀是个例子。 某人可以在这个时刻人人爱戴，但瞬眼间也可让人人都恨之入骨。 人心难测...谁明白我心中的矛盾？ 好和坏，真的是可以被世俗的道德观评价吗？ 无论你做了千百件好事，但只要做了一件坏事你就一定是坏人吗？ 不是某某教宗的信徒就一定下地狱了吗？ 道德是圣人用来约束庸人的道具...我是庸人但我不要被道德约束。 明年今日，我不要做个迂腐的凡夫俗子...

A leaf on the sea

I am a leaf,
that sails aimlessly,
with no purpose in mind.

I am a leaf,
under the mercy of the sea,
for the sea charts my path.

I am a leaf,
still on the look out,
for that other same leaf.

I am a leaf,
a leaf on the sea,
the sea of uncertanties.

I am a leaf,
I am a leaf,
I am a leaf on the sea...

原来只能做朋友...

女人都有一个共同的烦恼...如何令只当成普通朋友一般来看待的男性不喜欢自己。 一男一女相处久了通常都会有感情，尤其对男性来说是个难题。 女人一方面来不愿失去这个男性朋友，另一方面也深感不胜其烦。 很多时候，男士们都会把异性的友善当成是鼓励一直到后来才发现原来只能做朋友...

依然是朋友可能是接下来的发展，但事实上各自的心中都有了隔膜或疤痕。 男和女能够只做普通朋友吗？ 很多人都说可以...因为对方的确很不吸引你，也许对方已有心上人，或者自己心有所属。 其实，事实上证明是可以的...不然见到每个女性朋友都喜欢那还得了，岂不闹得天翻地覆！

谁能够划船不用桨
谁能够扬帆没有风向
谁能够离开好朋友
没有感伤
我可以划船不用桨
我可以扬帆没有风向
但是朋友啊
当你离我远去
我却不能不感伤

问世间，情为何物？ 没有爱情，还有友情嘛...记得了噢！(这句话是我自己说给我自己听的)

Hamburg, the place I want to live in...

Hamburg, the place where hamburgers live. Yeah, Hamburger is the term used to described the folks living in hamburg. Based in Ohlsdorf for more than a week, I managed to see the good and bad of Hamburg.

The good is of course the frequency of the public transport, the busy night life, and the scenaries. The bad is of course the high cost of living which comes along with living in a metropolis. I really missed staying in a big city where the number of people walking on the street is uncountable and being sardined in the underground train(U-Bahn) is a bliss because it proves that I am not living in a secluded place. How I miss the traffic jams in Kuala Lumpur because that means I have a car to drive! We complain when we possess things that irritates us but start to miss those things when they are not around...such irony!

From Jungfernstieg onwards we have countless shopping outlets and the Alster lake is really a sight to behold. The pubs scattered in the city is also a very big plus point to hamburg. The sound of cars and trains passing by in the morning is really refreshing after years of waking up to birds chirping...Hamburg has reminded me what city life is.

Civilization is again alive in me! All Hail the Reborn of the City Boy!