In my opinion the most heart-warming of all. Everyone has their own definition and interpretation on "Tanah" and "Air" when asked on separate accounts. But when it comes to a combined word of "Tanahair", the magic sets in. Tanahair unifies opinions, a word that holds such signficant power that it is unthinkable that when divided becomes so weak and meaningless.
One nation united, one love undivided. So why there are two systems in education, finance, jurisdication, and so on so forth? 1Malaysia or 2Malaysia? Sama-sama lahir di tanahair sama, jangan lawan sudah-LAH!
www.15malaysia.com - Watch it LAH!
Wednesday 16 September 2009
Traces of past
It must be a lie if I ever tell anybody that I have overcome the grief I suffered during the past 2 months or so. The feelings went numb but not gone. There were traces of the past everywhere in the city. The road to the university, the ice cream shop, the park, the apartment, the room 2041, the sofa picked up from the dump which is now being used as a bed for somebody else. Everything bears a cruel memory of what it used to be. Those were the happier days. It used to be the 3 of us eating ice-cream together in the chilly winter, having potshots at each other's fashion sense while trying on clothes in departmental stores, studying together for the never-ending cycle of exams, cooking together, movie nights in room 2041 and some pretty dodgy drinking sessions in bars.
Today I was walking alone down the same street we 3 used to trod down happily just a year or so ago. I am licking the same ice-cream from the same ice-cream shop and heading home with the road we only know too well ourselves. The only obvious difference this time around is that I am alone. Memories came and go. Jokes and conversations were coming back like old films playing in the back of the brain. 1st the bakery shop at the corner, the RWTH building, the park, the basketball court, and finally room 2041 which he used to reside. Used to reside...how would things be when nothing had changed at all. Status quo? Will he still reside there? No, not with his abilities. He should have gotten his bachelor's degree by now. The brightest star of our batch, he will have a great future ahead of him, no?
Time is a great healer but not the ultimate cure. I think I need a new environment. A new beginning...
P.S. Thou shall not worry, the virgo sign has it that only he who can cure himself shall be the one to face the world when he is ready.
Today I was walking alone down the same street we 3 used to trod down happily just a year or so ago. I am licking the same ice-cream from the same ice-cream shop and heading home with the road we only know too well ourselves. The only obvious difference this time around is that I am alone. Memories came and go. Jokes and conversations were coming back like old films playing in the back of the brain. 1st the bakery shop at the corner, the RWTH building, the park, the basketball court, and finally room 2041 which he used to reside. Used to reside...how would things be when nothing had changed at all. Status quo? Will he still reside there? No, not with his abilities. He should have gotten his bachelor's degree by now. The brightest star of our batch, he will have a great future ahead of him, no?
Time is a great healer but not the ultimate cure. I think I need a new environment. A new beginning...
P.S. Thou shall not worry, the virgo sign has it that only he who can cure himself shall be the one to face the world when he is ready.
Monday 14 September 2009
The Virgo Conundrum
都說處女座另類，雙重性格，甚至有點神經質，其實原因只有一個，處女座的一切都要隨自己外顯的性格而轉，姑且稱之為"狀態"。處女座狀態好的時候，可以將自己聰明、細膩、能幹、溫情、幽默、有內涵等優良品質完全外展，此時他們顯得如此完美，光芒四射，並且可以表現得非常外向、健談，容易與人打成一片（這本非他們的性格）。而一旦處女座狀態不好，便會變成另一個人，甚至非常窩囊，一事無成，不過通常此時他們都躲避外在的干擾,所以讓人感覺有點間歇性自閉症)因為同為水星守護，所以處女和雙子一樣善變，但雙子善變的是心思，處女善變的卻是情緒。
很多時候處女座要面對很多實際的瑣事，這時的處女座便不得不在冷中面對周圍世界：要麼說話做事很不自然，有做作的痕跡；要麼便極度冷漠和被動，對誰都不理不睬。其實處女座很清楚自己現在的樣子，但他們無力改變和控制自己的情緒，只能選擇瘋狂地逃避一切。
他們想的是：與其很不自然地面對你，尷尬地和你說些無關痛癢地話，或是因和平時反差太大而被人說成表裡不一，性格怪異，還不如先躲一陣子，等調節好了以後再出來。所以，在與人交往中，他們只會和不得不交流的人（實在躲不掉）或是完全陌生的人（反正無所謂）交談，而和熟悉的朋友反而疏遠。所以.你在他心中地位越重，他躲得你越遠。特別是戀人.
而且,大家都知道處女座的人有嚴重的完美主義傾向,所以就有了所謂的\"處女座的人最喜歡若即若離\"。原因很簡單：他只想給你一個最好最完美的自己，而不願讓你看到他無助脆弱的一面。所以請記住，有時處女座對你冷，絕不是你說錯做錯什麼，這是他們正常的生理現象，他們只是不想讓嚴寒和冰霜傷害了你（可事實上這種做法已經傷害）。不必難過，因為他們在乎你的話，他們的內心比你還要難過、自責和內疚！他們所能做的，只希望快點調整好情緒，回到你的身邊。
正基於以上兩點，處女座有時便會表現出非常另類的行為和思維模式。他們的性格也很多來源於此：不喜主動，不善交際（也可以熱情，只是今天熱了，終有一天會冷的），不愛表現，不喜拋頭露面（萬一哪天情緒無法把握狀態不好時，豈不大失臉面），諸如此類。
關於"潔癖"——並非處女都有潔癖，很多處女座並不愛乾淨，但卻要求整潔，他們更多的是井然有序，不喜歡別人破壞他們所整理和佈置的"完美"格局。處女座更多的是有精神潔癖。一旦觸碰到他們精神上的禁區，嚴重時會表現得歇斯底里。
關於"花心"——一般說來處女座絕不花心，忠誠是他們的代名詞。異性關係多很可能是他們需要確定一個好人緣和自己有魅力，來反擊那些普遍觀點。一旦找到心中真愛，他會呵護你一輩子，只要你能給他安全感，他永不背叛，心中眼中唯你一人。尋花問柳，紅杏出牆這些事與他們絕緣（一是責任感所致，二是怕麻煩）。
關於"聰明" ——不似雙子靈活機巧，不像水瓶創意非凡，也不是天蠍的那種計畫周密，處女座更多體現的是智慧。細膩、理性、好學加上十二星座裡一流的洞察力和最強的邏輯思維能力，處女座想不聰明都難。沒事少在處女座面前信口開河，隨意撒謊，很多偽紗他們一眼便能看透；也別跟他們玩什麼心計，你玩不過他們的。處女是那種可以把你賣了你還得向他道謝的類型。沒事也少跟處女座辯論，他們沒理也可找出理，甚至找出不止一條理來。處女是永遠不會吃虧的。
關於"單純"——處女座很純真，但絕不單純，他們內心複雜得讓人難以想像，很多不經意的事可能都是他們精心佈置的。處女座也總在純潔和好色之間徘徊，這一點最難說清。不過他們真正的內心是極其善良的，寧可自己苦也不願傷害任何人，心靈如水晶一般晶瑩剔透。
關於"幽默"——都說處女座冷若冰霜，缺乏幽默。多和他們接觸吧，你會體會到什麼是冷幽默，什麼是真正的幽默，而並非品位低俗的搞笑。
關於"遲鈍"——別看你和處女座說某些提議時他們半天才反應過來，在你說好的一瞬間，他們腦子裡可能已經轉過五六個你這項提議會造成的後果（通常是消極後果）了。他們總是想得太多，絕非想得太慢。 (My favourite sentence!)
關於"自私"——處女座的自私覺不是獅子的那種惟我獨尊，也不是水瓶的以自我為中心。處女座正因為是無私的，所以顯得自私。（能夠理解嗎？）因為處女不想傷害任何人。
關於"逃避" ——由於處女座性格上的因素，他們通常會顯得壓力很大。當週遭的事物已無法掌控，或是自己的情緒無法調節好時，他們會瘋狂地逃避，墮落自己，這種狀況通常對別人無害，卻是傷害自己，讓所有愛他們的人感到心碎。不過不用太擔心，過一陣子他們自己會好的，他們天性的自我批判精神很快便會起作用。處女座一般不會徹底墮落，墮落前可能都已留有餘地，只是在等待著希望的來臨。甚至有時墮落都是做給別人看的。
關於"內涵"——處女座有涵養這一點是肯定的。在成長中不斷吸取教訓，不斷學習，取人之長來豐富自己的內涵。因為他們感覺到情緒無法把握，而這些是自己可以踏踏實實做到的，將來一定有幫助。這是他們所追求的完美主義目標。
處女座就是一個表面神秘到難以琢磨，說穿了卻又很簡單的星座。最接近神的人？可能吧，處女座喜歡這樣
來標榜自己。因為他們確實有超凡脫俗的一面。他們的內心接近了神，可是身在這個世界，不能不食人間煙火吧，所以必須得戴著一個面具活在這個世界上。
處女座喜歡和人說些曖昧的話，對心儀的對象卻不好意思表白。
處女座希望別人瞭解自己，卻又只將能公佈的那一部分對外展示。
處女座是最有責任感的人了，可很多時候卻害怕承擔責任。
Passage taken from hdtvb forum. This is akin to reading my own mindset. It's not easy to be a virgo!
很多時候處女座要面對很多實際的瑣事，這時的處女座便不得不在冷中面對周圍世界：要麼說話做事很不自然，有做作的痕跡；要麼便極度冷漠和被動，對誰都不理不睬。其實處女座很清楚自己現在的樣子，但他們無力改變和控制自己的情緒，只能選擇瘋狂地逃避一切。
他們想的是：與其很不自然地面對你，尷尬地和你說些無關痛癢地話，或是因和平時反差太大而被人說成表裡不一，性格怪異，還不如先躲一陣子，等調節好了以後再出來。所以，在與人交往中，他們只會和不得不交流的人（實在躲不掉）或是完全陌生的人（反正無所謂）交談，而和熟悉的朋友反而疏遠。所以.你在他心中地位越重，他躲得你越遠。特別是戀人.
而且,大家都知道處女座的人有嚴重的完美主義傾向,所以就有了所謂的\"處女座的人最喜歡若即若離\"。原因很簡單：他只想給你一個最好最完美的自己，而不願讓你看到他無助脆弱的一面。所以請記住，有時處女座對你冷，絕不是你說錯做錯什麼，這是他們正常的生理現象，他們只是不想讓嚴寒和冰霜傷害了你（可事實上這種做法已經傷害）。不必難過，因為他們在乎你的話，他們的內心比你還要難過、自責和內疚！他們所能做的，只希望快點調整好情緒，回到你的身邊。
正基於以上兩點，處女座有時便會表現出非常另類的行為和思維模式。他們的性格也很多來源於此：不喜主動，不善交際（也可以熱情，只是今天熱了，終有一天會冷的），不愛表現，不喜拋頭露面（萬一哪天情緒無法把握狀態不好時，豈不大失臉面），諸如此類。
關於"潔癖"——並非處女都有潔癖，很多處女座並不愛乾淨，但卻要求整潔，他們更多的是井然有序，不喜歡別人破壞他們所整理和佈置的"完美"格局。處女座更多的是有精神潔癖。一旦觸碰到他們精神上的禁區，嚴重時會表現得歇斯底里。
關於"花心"——一般說來處女座絕不花心，忠誠是他們的代名詞。異性關係多很可能是他們需要確定一個好人緣和自己有魅力，來反擊那些普遍觀點。一旦找到心中真愛，他會呵護你一輩子，只要你能給他安全感，他永不背叛，心中眼中唯你一人。尋花問柳，紅杏出牆這些事與他們絕緣（一是責任感所致，二是怕麻煩）。
關於"聰明" ——不似雙子靈活機巧，不像水瓶創意非凡，也不是天蠍的那種計畫周密，處女座更多體現的是智慧。細膩、理性、好學加上十二星座裡一流的洞察力和最強的邏輯思維能力，處女座想不聰明都難。沒事少在處女座面前信口開河，隨意撒謊，很多偽紗他們一眼便能看透；也別跟他們玩什麼心計，你玩不過他們的。處女是那種可以把你賣了你還得向他道謝的類型。沒事也少跟處女座辯論，他們沒理也可找出理，甚至找出不止一條理來。處女是永遠不會吃虧的。
關於"單純"——處女座很純真，但絕不單純，他們內心複雜得讓人難以想像，很多不經意的事可能都是他們精心佈置的。處女座也總在純潔和好色之間徘徊，這一點最難說清。不過他們真正的內心是極其善良的，寧可自己苦也不願傷害任何人，心靈如水晶一般晶瑩剔透。
關於"幽默"——都說處女座冷若冰霜，缺乏幽默。多和他們接觸吧，你會體會到什麼是冷幽默，什麼是真正的幽默，而並非品位低俗的搞笑。
關於"遲鈍"——別看你和處女座說某些提議時他們半天才反應過來，在你說好的一瞬間，他們腦子裡可能已經轉過五六個你這項提議會造成的後果（通常是消極後果）了。他們總是想得太多，絕非想得太慢。 (My favourite sentence!)
關於"自私"——處女座的自私覺不是獅子的那種惟我獨尊，也不是水瓶的以自我為中心。處女座正因為是無私的，所以顯得自私。（能夠理解嗎？）因為處女不想傷害任何人。
關於"逃避" ——由於處女座性格上的因素，他們通常會顯得壓力很大。當週遭的事物已無法掌控，或是自己的情緒無法調節好時，他們會瘋狂地逃避，墮落自己，這種狀況通常對別人無害，卻是傷害自己，讓所有愛他們的人感到心碎。不過不用太擔心，過一陣子他們自己會好的，他們天性的自我批判精神很快便會起作用。處女座一般不會徹底墮落，墮落前可能都已留有餘地，只是在等待著希望的來臨。甚至有時墮落都是做給別人看的。
關於"內涵"——處女座有涵養這一點是肯定的。在成長中不斷吸取教訓，不斷學習，取人之長來豐富自己的內涵。因為他們感覺到情緒無法把握，而這些是自己可以踏踏實實做到的，將來一定有幫助。這是他們所追求的完美主義目標。
處女座就是一個表面神秘到難以琢磨，說穿了卻又很簡單的星座。最接近神的人？可能吧，處女座喜歡這樣
來標榜自己。因為他們確實有超凡脫俗的一面。他們的內心接近了神，可是身在這個世界，不能不食人間煙火吧，所以必須得戴著一個面具活在這個世界上。
處女座喜歡和人說些曖昧的話，對心儀的對象卻不好意思表白。
處女座希望別人瞭解自己，卻又只將能公佈的那一部分對外展示。
處女座是最有責任感的人了，可很多時候卻害怕承擔責任。
Passage taken from hdtvb forum. This is akin to reading my own mindset. It's not easy to be a virgo!
Sunday 6 September 2009
This is not the way it should end, its the way it should begin
Colbie Caillat's new song begin again. The most meaningful part of the song is the sentence above..."this is not the way it should end, its the way it should begin"
I have mourned, thinked hard and been guilt ridden even till now. His passing away will always leave an indelible mark in my life. He had left us to be by His side, so said by everyone comforting me. There is no more meaning of pointing fingers at anyone. It is a fact I didn't put words into action and have been ignorant of his condition. I am guilty of hesitating about attending his funeral. I weighed in money and thousands of other excuses instead of being steadfast with the thought to send him off for the last time. Without dwelling too much on the past. Lets just finish everything in one sentence. My intention to show care and concern is there but it wasn't reflected in my actions. "Words falter without action" that was his advice for the rest of my life...
Instead of being buried with demons of the past and being guilty with my own wrongdoings. I should and must change myself first. Someone told me rightly that I am being insecure of myself and low on self esteem. It wouldn't really bother me anymore about what others think of me, I must be responsible to my own self. To take good care of my own health, to repay my parents' never ending love and faith in me, to be the brother that my siblings deserve and proud to have and finally to be the friend that can be trusted and depend on.
He might be gone, but he left a message for me. This is not the way it should end, its the way it should begin...begin again! I'm grateful that I can begin again and really show care and concern to those I loved and hold dear. Jon will only forgive me when I can learn to forgive myself.
PS: I do not intend to be emotional with every post I wrote, but that is me being true to myself, to express and to share...
I have mourned, thinked hard and been guilt ridden even till now. His passing away will always leave an indelible mark in my life. He had left us to be by His side, so said by everyone comforting me. There is no more meaning of pointing fingers at anyone. It is a fact I didn't put words into action and have been ignorant of his condition. I am guilty of hesitating about attending his funeral. I weighed in money and thousands of other excuses instead of being steadfast with the thought to send him off for the last time. Without dwelling too much on the past. Lets just finish everything in one sentence. My intention to show care and concern is there but it wasn't reflected in my actions. "Words falter without action" that was his advice for the rest of my life...
Instead of being buried with demons of the past and being guilty with my own wrongdoings. I should and must change myself first. Someone told me rightly that I am being insecure of myself and low on self esteem. It wouldn't really bother me anymore about what others think of me, I must be responsible to my own self. To take good care of my own health, to repay my parents' never ending love and faith in me, to be the brother that my siblings deserve and proud to have and finally to be the friend that can be trusted and depend on.
He might be gone, but he left a message for me. This is not the way it should end, its the way it should begin...begin again! I'm grateful that I can begin again and really show care and concern to those I loved and hold dear. Jon will only forgive me when I can learn to forgive myself.
PS: I do not intend to be emotional with every post I wrote, but that is me being true to myself, to express and to share...
Thursday 3 September 2009
Where can stubborness lead you to?
Theoretically no where. The end result of your stubborness will not necessarily be identical with the result you had in mind when you decided to trod down this path. A stubborn person will not easily give up and let go of the things he is holding or in some cases losing. I can easily give you many consequences of being stubborn. Inability to take in kind advices, unable to forget, forgive and most important to let go. In the TVB series "Burning Flame", there was this particular block head that was so stubborn that he ended up losing a limb and nearly committed suicide. Of course it is all fictional but in real life, stubborness is indeed tiring. Certain aspects in life will not change no matter how hard you try, but one thing you can change is your own self. You can't go on and on about how hard certain things are when you refuse to change your own mindset.
Having faith is also a kind of stubborness. But the difference is that this faith is something that can be trusted upon and had brought upon success on countless occasions. It is however merely words in play, a failed example we call it stubborness whereas the successful one is named as belief and having faith. Before this crap goes out of control, I intend to end it with my own punch line...Have faith in your own stubborness because it will still lead you to a place called no where!
Having faith is also a kind of stubborness. But the difference is that this faith is something that can be trusted upon and had brought upon success on countless occasions. It is however merely words in play, a failed example we call it stubborness whereas the successful one is named as belief and having faith. Before this crap goes out of control, I intend to end it with my own punch line...Have faith in your own stubborness because it will still lead you to a place called no where!
Tuesday 1 September 2009
The memoirs of imperfection
I looked at your direction,
you paid me no attention,
was it all my imagination,
or just mere hallucination.
I have an ambition,
but lacking in motivation,
to put things into motion,
and gain recognition.
I needed salvation,
and also appreciation,
but with sudden inspiration,
I wrote this memoirs of imperfection.
Rainbow is a vision,
as well as an illusion,
If you have determination,
Visions will come into fruition.
Words falter without action,
Actions falter without direction,
with so many complications,
It is indeed the memoirs of imperfection.
you paid me no attention,
was it all my imagination,
or just mere hallucination.
I have an ambition,
but lacking in motivation,
to put things into motion,
and gain recognition.
I needed salvation,
and also appreciation,
but with sudden inspiration,
I wrote this memoirs of imperfection.
Rainbow is a vision,
as well as an illusion,
If you have determination,
Visions will come into fruition.
Words falter without action,
Actions falter without direction,
with so many complications,
It is indeed the memoirs of imperfection.
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