I read, I laugh and I cry

That is the only reasonable reason I can come up with my not so recent interest in blogging. It has the purpose to show me my past. Sweet and bitter, hence bittersweet. I am not surprised with the respond I got from whoever who bothers reading my blog. Doing some reading of older posts do really make me feel bittersweet.

Laughing at my stupid oldself, the stubborn and lazy asshole. I didn't progress much but if I can laugh at things I wrote in the heat during those moments it means I have let it go. Bitter of the no show when jon needed me. Sweet as the theory that hard work does pay is proven correct.

Life is a book, my book is blessed with the warmth my family and friends gave me. It is a good story thus far. A page as a year, a paragraph as a month and a sentence as a day. With 23 pages filled, my life has been truly a blessed one. I thank god for what I have and hope I can live on with a conviction to speak good of others, do good for others and be good to others. 存好心，说好话，做好事. The only thing I won't do is naming my daughter chin san hao. 陈三好, I think any daughter will hate you if you ever name her so.

I do not aspire my book to be like the topsellers of Dan Browns and J.K. Rowlings. A boring but peaceful story with a happy ending is what I dreamed of. Some characters might have perished along the way in my story line, I shall continue this story...one word at a time...till the last word of the book. This is my life thus far, how is yours?

dream, dream not

I have a dream, you have a dream, he has a dream, she has a dream...dream high, dream more, dream not! I have a dream but I do not work towards it then it remains a dream that I can only see in one third of my lifespan. It's ok to dream a dream so sweet and pray that it never ends but in this fair world there are dreams that can never be. Dream of fame, dream of wealth, dream of another half that is perfect, dream on...

Since it is so bad to dream why bother to dream? Firstly it is absolutely free for this world where money talks and you end up a happier person eventhough only temporarily. Martin Luther King had a dream and Obama realized it, The American Dream. Not as popular as he might be before, he is still what exactly the american dream is about. Dreamworks continues to churn out high quality movies that captured our imagination with the dream. The day you stop dreaming, you lose the drive, the sight of your future and the dream you dreamed. Les Miserables sung a song called I dreamed a dream. Listen to it, it brought susan boyle fame.

Dreaming is my forte but not working. I dreamed with passion but worked without. Such irony that is no wonder that I have not graduate yet. I can imagine that lim zhi hao laughing at me right now...DAMNIT! On second thought I can have a try with Dreamworks though...

priceless serenity

It's not easy but I have found inner peace. Totally at ease with myself, possibly because I don't have to sit for exams anymore. Sitting at home doing nothing is a luxury itself that many call it pure laziness and a parasite that can be do without in today's society. I know very well what I will become if I continue my lazy ways but this is a priceless moment of serenity. Life is good when you don't have to worry about money, career and maybe meeting a girl some day. The same applies for the gals. MEN = Money + womEN. The M from money is not an issue right now and I think I can cope without the latter EN from women as long as the M is still in abundance.

Everyone will wish that their parents are so rich that they don't have to work. I am no exception but I always bear in mind the sweat and blood they put in to earn every cent for the family. Rich or poor, it is the result of your hardwork. You are born rich not because of luck but rather your ancestors had worked dilligently to amass the wealth you possess today. My parents worked hard because they believe in a future where we the children can live a good life. It is the ultimate aim of every parent. You might dislike their approach to parenting and communicating with you but never ever doubt their intention to provide you with a future. Some said your children is your creditor in the previous life and you are paying back good money. I would see it this way - your children is your investment of the future. You invest your time and money in your children and hope to see your investment grow into something you would be proud of one day. This investment is a life time binding one, be it at a loss or otherwise you are held liable for it. In sharemarket investment you have the choice to abandon ship and start afresh. Can you discard your children as easily as that? This form of investment is the most rewarding one as well for it is your own mirror image, your future representative when you are six feet under.

I do aim high in life but my actions are not in sync. The least of what I can do is to ensure my parents will be silently proud to have me as their son. I might not be rich and famous but I am proud to have parents that believe in my future. I carry the surname of Chin with fierce pride! So dad and mum, do I get some form of reward for this declaration? Jokes aside, I have some serious work ahead of me. This priceless moment of serinity, enjoy it while you can Darren. The next time you feel like taking a break you could be 50.

I dreamed a dream where it never ends but there are dreams that can never be.

You are a nice guy, so what?

How I hate the tag. Friends would always recall fondly of me as the one being nice to others and easy to bully. Perhaps I am being harsh on certain things but I really do not like the image of being a soft person that people like to take for granted, bully or even misunderstand. I do possess a darker side which I do not show very often. So I might be blur, that's what the majority of you all think. Why am I slow as well? It is because I have plenty of options lined up in my brain but do not know which to choose hence the perceived slowness and bluriness. You think you know me well? You are wrong if you think I am really blur. It might just be your mere perception of me...

My 3 cents worth of opinion on fashion

Not a very great dresser myself and also not a person blessed with the good looks and body to simply wear anything and still be dashing and charming. The only thing I can do is maybe dress up as a commoner and try to blend into the society. So for a average bloke like me, I am opting for the London look - trench coat, skinny jeans, leather boots. With all these on, I am not outstanding but rather normal and blended into the londoners style. Some said I copied choon wei's style but in fashion terms-copying means the style is widely accepted. Of course nobody is indentical and we have our own preferences in colours and cuttings. I am no fashion guru wannabe but I always only wanted to present my most perfect self to others. Since I do not fare well in the handsomeness department, might as well compensate with the personality and clothing department. Whatever I might say, personality still counts. A confident and optimistic person will always have double the attractiveness compared to the rest. Jon has and had it. I am still working on it. Everybody says I'm a nice bloke. The truth is I do not like the nice guy tag. A nice guy is good as friend but not the 1st you have in mind as lovers. Fact!

London-3rd review

Still my preferred choice of city to work in and stay in albeit the sucky weather, high cost of living and congestion. If given a choice I would like to stay in bayswater and commute to city centre for work every day with the underground tube. I have always fancied the life of living in a metropolis with a fast paced lifestyle. Londoners are fashion consious and the British accent is the best accent that I have ever heard! Here you can get Malaysian food without actually being in Malaysia. No matter what the other thinks about London, it is the best city in Europe for me. The place I wish I could live in the future.

The sleepless night in Russell square

Lying down on the not so comfy double decker bed and staring at the dark ceilling above me. Lim is sleeping soundly below me. In fact everyone is asleep in the room except me. It has been a fruitful trip and a money burning one as well. Not to mention the fat gaining. Well this is also the 1st time I am posting through my iPhone. It's been a while that I planned to get one and finally it is right now in my hands. Gosh I guess I have to find a way to fall asleep!

Empty Decorations

I wake in the dark
With showers of life
Moments of emptiness around
Floating away
No other hope
Reality brings me

Into the ground
What can I do
What can I say
I need a place to hide away
Just for a while, just for a smile
Just for a life I used to know

The perfect song were filled with
Words of love and not with anger
What if they go
What if they leave me far behind

'Cause I don't wanna be alone... (uh oh)
Living life for on my own (uh oh)
I don't want to live my life in isolation
Filled with empty decorations
'Cause I want to be with people that I know

Who would do the things I do (uh oh)
Making all my dreams come true (uh oh)
I don't recognize the shadows at my door
Though I've seen them all before
Because the only thing I really want...
Is to be with you...(this last verse was relevant a few months ago)

Everybody has a personal demon and in fact one per day, but the greatest fear is facing it alone...the life in isolation and filled with empty decorations.

The reason

for getting drunk and losing self control? As the song from hoobastank with the same name goes "I'm not a perfect person. There's many things that I wished I didn't do..." Well I was relieved that exams are truly over and I can see the end of my torment. If choosing the wrong engineering course is already a hard pill to swallow, imagine studying just for the sake of getting your degree. So getting drunk is no big deal.

There are probably things I'll never say out blatantly but I am always willing to write it down. My ever overzealous attempt to talk more is just to stop me thinking the wrong things at the wrong time. It has been so for quite some time, the happier the atmosphere is, the emptier I felt for it was in the absence of his presence. And also my own conscience that had punished me for being such a useless friend.

I don't want to trod down the path that I have to be so "pretentious" to the extent people view me differently. I am a typical virgo in the sense that I want people to understand me but I don't want to tell them about myself. Why am I always secluding myself with my ipod? It's my shell to retreat to when I don't want to present myself, that myself I deemed imperfect for others to see. Another virgo characteristics it seems. I don't need others to help me, the lyrics of the songs carefully chosen by me can do the job better than a million words said.

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

P.S. the "you" is subjective, don't put your ownself as "you"
Darren chants "Viva La Gloria" as he can forget about studying for exams.