It must be a lie if I ever tell anybody that I have overcome the grief I suffered during the past 2 months or so. The feelings went numb but not gone. There were traces of the past everywhere in the city. The road to the university, the ice cream shop, the park, the apartment, the room 2041, the sofa picked up from the dump which is now being used as a bed for somebody else. Everything bears a cruel memory of what it used to be. Those were the happier days. It used to be the 3 of us eating ice-cream together in the chilly winter, having potshots at each other's fashion sense while trying on clothes in departmental stores, studying together for the never-ending cycle of exams, cooking together, movie nights in room 2041 and some pretty dodgy drinking sessions in bars.
Today I was walking alone down the same street we 3 used to trod down happily just a year or so ago. I am licking the same ice-cream from the same ice-cream shop and heading home with the road we only know too well ourselves. The only obvious difference this time around is that I am alone. Memories came and go. Jokes and conversations were coming back like old films playing in the back of the brain. 1st the bakery shop at the corner, the RWTH building, the park, the basketball court, and finally room 2041 which he used to reside. Used to reside...how would things be when nothing had changed at all. Status quo? Will he still reside there? No, not with his abilities. He should have gotten his bachelor's degree by now. The brightest star of our batch, he will have a great future ahead of him, no?
Time is a great healer but not the ultimate cure. I think I need a new environment. A new beginning...
P.S. Thou shall not worry, the virgo sign has it that only he who can cure himself shall be the one to face the world when he is ready.
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