Ever wonder the day you wake up with a new mindset? The stubbornness of the past and countless lamp posts and mortar brick walls you banged your poor little head against, everything sounds funny to you when you looked back. How silly you can be when you are young huh...
I can be so irrational when it comes to certain things but 1 thing for sure is that I know what I'm doing but I probably used the wrong way in many different situations. Cracking ill mannered jokes while what she actually need is just a listening ear, acting childish just to attract her attention, being really blur because of my couldn't be bothered attitude. The reason why many people think that I am directionless is because I did a few mistakes and people used a magnifying glass on it. This directionless guy managed to bring his family to tour london, paris, barcelona, vienna, prague and still come back in one piece tells you something right?
Why bother to explain now when in the past I let it all flow like water under the bridge? It is your opinion and your mouth and it is not within my limits to stop what other people would think of me...bla...bla... This is the past. It is time to confront problems head on. To say out things in the mind and not keep it to myself anymore. To actually say I don't mind what others think of me is inaccurate as well. In fact I do mind, and especially what she thinks of me. Why would I mind? It is because I do really care about her.
With age still hopefully on my side, I hope my timekeeping will improve with age and so does the blurriness. Losing a friend and facing rejections and failures in examinations do feel like being stabbed in the heart many times at the same spot but compared to greater things in life you will learn sooner or later to let go of disappointments and get on with life.
I have failed in exams, I have been robbed of all my belongings, I have got rejected, I have lost 2 friends but I am still here standing, smiling back at you. I am more resilient than you people think I am. But I still remember what jon said, words falter without action. Rejudge me!
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